And raspberries, strawberries, cherries and even blueberries. I’ve just been to Waitrose and spent £25 on nothing but fruit. Yes fruit.
The only fruit I used to know were the machines on Brighton Pier. Now it is the major part of my diet.
And I run miles and miles nearly every day.
What is happening to me.
I don’t have time to ponder; it’s my poetry hour.
While I was stranded in Dusseldorf, as mentioned in my previous post, I also failed to update this blog for four days.
During that time, the number of visitors to onefatman actually went up.
I can only conclude that the less I say, the more you want to read it.
If I fail to finish the London Marathon I’m going to blame it on the Germans.
I spent three days stranded in Dusseldorf this week, as foggy conditions meant all flights back to London were grounded, and if there is one place in the world you don’t want to be stuck, it is Dusseldorf. It’s a bit like a big skateboard park but without any skateboards or park.
As a result I went four whole days without training, as I was without running gear. It was only today that normal plodding and wheezing was resumed.
So any blame for me failing to complete the marathon will lie firmly with the Germans.
Actually that is a little harsh. I may just have gone four days without training for the first time since early January, but prior to that I hadn’t run four times in as many years. Also the reason that no planes were flying from Dusseldorf to the UK was because Heathrow was fog bound, which I suppose wasn’t really the fault of our continental cousins.
OK so maybe the blame for my failure to train for four days, lies closer to home, and should be shouldered by our air traffic controllers or weather men or perhaps Gordon Brown, but I just want to stress that if I do fail to complete the marathon, the fault is in no way mine.
There is no greater thrill than clicking through to my Justgiving page under the Sponsor Me button on the right to discover you lovely people have donated yet more money to the RNIB.
If you haven’t done so yet, be carefree, be reckless, abandon self control, and go mental with your credit card. Remember every pound you give, helps a blind person see, or something like that.
While on a charity theme excuse me if you have had heard the following allegedly true story but it still makes me laugh.
During a U2 concert Bono stood in front of the microphone and started clapping his hands in a slow rhythm. He told the now silent crowd: ‘Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies’. The auditorium was hushed for a few seconds until a voice shouted out: ‘Well stop clapping you silly *****’
Life may be no more than a prolonged critical illness but some of us are attempting to die more slowly than others. I was convinced that all my recent physical exercise and healthy eating might keep me on this mortal coil for a little longer than might previously have been the case, but that isn’t a view shared by AXA Sun Life, with whom I have a life insurance policy.
I have just received a letter from them saying that to maintain the same benefits as I have currently, my monthly premium will increase at the beginning of April, from £18.79 to £137.74. Not only is that a pretty steep increase but it would suggest that the learned view of AXA Sun Life is that from the beginning of April I am seven times more likely to die than right now.
Now this may be a coincidence, but given that I am running the London Marathon on April 13th, I can’t help but think that someone has tipped AXA Sun Life the wink.
I wonder whether I can beat the Grim Reaper over 26 miles. Perhaps it will be a dead heat.
Today, I had one of the worst experiences of my life. It ranked right up alongside eating cold beetroot soup and watching Dumb and Dumber.
I went out on a 14 mile run and I hated every plodding step.
It’s very strange, how some days running is a rewarding and almost enjoyable experience, while others you would gladly swap for a live broadcast of Dale Winton pulling out your toenails with his teeth.
The good news it is that I completed the distance. The even better news is that I’m not going to be able to go running tomorrow.
This is Paige, my five year old daughter. Paige has been blind since birth and is the reason I am running the London Marathon to raise funds for the RNIB.
Paige is not only blind but deaf in one ear but she more than compensates for her disabilities with a double dose of chutzpah, charm and cheek.
Paige is also the master of the bon mots. Today, Valentine’s Day she asked me: Why do people give each other flowers? They just die and smell of sick!’ (I presume she meant the flowers not the people).
I will be using that excuse later today when I explain why I forgot to buy the roses again this year.
But Paige and thousands like her need support not only in their childhood but through their adult years and that is where the RNIB and other similar organisations play an invaluable role.
I hope to raise £2,000 in sponsorship by running the London Marathon. If you would like to make a donation please just click on the text under the ‘Sponsor me’ tab on the right and go silly with your credit card. Thanks.
During my run yesterday, I took a new route, and as I made my way ponderously down a long straight piece of road I passed a sign which asked: ‘Are you speeding?’
It would have been more appropriate had it asked: ‘Are you moving?’.
Today for the first time in about 20 years I feel fit; not fit like an athlete feels, not fit for purpose, but fit for a fat man.
On Sunday I managed to coax my frame around a 12.5 mile course so today I went out for a short four mile run (’short four mile run’ being a phrase I would have regarded as oxymoronic a month ago) and it seemed, well not to be vainglorious, easy.
But I suppose it was only easy because it wasn’t 12.5 miles.
Friends, family and colleagues have been very encouraging about my marathon efforts so far but a recurring theme is ‘ don’t become a health bore will you?’ which is their polite way of saying I already am.
But can you recite in descending order the calorific content of the eight different fruits in your fruit bowl? Ha! Bore. Me?
So far this blog has focused on one of the 30,000 runners in this year’s London Marathon i.e. me! But there are lots of other jogger bloggers among this year field, many of whom are raising funds for various charities.
To visit their blogs click here with your left hand while reaching for your wallet with your right so that you can hand over what is left after you have sponsored me. And if you only look at one other blog make sure it is this one
