OK I’m not highly tuned, or even an athlete, but I have begun my marathon training in earnest and it has had the most unfortunate consequences; my head has caught fire.
I have eschewed all alcohol, curries, chocolate and everything else I enjoy, and started jogging regularly but when I woke up this morning it felt like someone had put a match to my face.
During the day, my skin got tighter, redder and hotter until I resembled a semi-cooked prune wrapped in cling film.
As this was a slightly unexpected side effect to my get fit campaign I popped into the doctor’s for a quick diagnosis.
It appears my body has developed an allergic reaction. Unfortunately the doctor could not identify the allergen, but as the only change to my diet has been a reduction of a bottle of wine a day, chocolate and pies, I suggested I must be allergic to healthy living.
He thought this unlikely and prescribed me some antihistamines instead.
But you can’t be too careful. I plan on being the only marathon runner sporting a hip flask and Cornish pastie come April 13th.
